Introduction

Anxiety often feels like a whirlwind of worry, fear, and self-doubt. But beneath that emotional storm lies something powerful and much more manageable: your thoughts. Anxiety is often fueled by automatic negative thoughts and core beliefs that shape how we interpret the world. These thoughts, though they may seem true in the moment, are often distorted. This is where cognitive distortions come in. They are common thinking patterns that skew reality, increase stress, and sustain anxiety. Understanding and addressing them is a key step toward emotional clarity and peace of mind.

What are Cognitive Distortions According to Psychology?

Cognitive distortions are not specific thoughts or beliefs. Rather, they are patterns. They are repetitive, unhelpful thinking styles that affect how we perceive and interpret events. These patterns often operate automatically, without us realizing them, and they feed our anxiety by making situations seem worse than they actually are. The good news? Once we identify these patterns, we can begin to challenge and change them, improving the overall quality of our thoughts and, in turn, our emotional wellbeing.

7 Common Cognitive Distortions and How To Manage Them

The first step to managing cognitive distortions is learning to recognize them. Once you identify the specific thinking patterns that are fueling your anxiety, you can begin to challenge and reframe them in more balanced, compassionate, and realistic ways. Below are some of the most common cognitive distortions, along with simple, practical strategies to help you manage and reverse them.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking (also called black-and-white thinking) involves viewing situations in extreme terms. There is no middle ground: something is either a total success or a complete failure. For example:

• “Either I get the promotion or I am a total failure.”
• “If I do not grow my business right away, then it is doomed.”

This kind of thinking ignores the gray zone of life. To reverse it, practice identifying the middle ground. Ask yourself: What is the alternative? Maybe you did not get the promotion now, but you could in three months. Maybe you will not get the exact role you wanted, but you could find another opportunity that feels just as fulfilling. Instead of thinking, "I failed to get the promotion, so I am a failure," recognize your growth and success in other areas. Challenge the extremity and seek a more balanced, realistic perspective.

2. Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization occurs when we draw sweeping conclusions from limited evidence. One negative event becomes a symbol of never-ending failure. Examples include:

• “I got rejected from this job. I will never find work.”
• “The last five interviews went badly. I will never succeed.”

The red flags here are words like never, always, everyone, no one, nothing. These signal overgeneralization.
To reverse this, replace absolute language with more flexible, truthful statements:

• “I sometimes fail—like everyone else—but I also sometimes succeed.”

This is not toxic positivity. It is about making your thoughts more helpful and realistic, reducing the emotional volume from a ten to a five. Instead of spiraling into despair, you make space for hope and possibility.

3. Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing means blowing negative events out of proportion and expecting disaster. It also often involves minimizing any positive aspects of the situation. For example:

• You spill coffee on your shirt before a big presentation and think, "This will be the worst presentation ever."

While spilling coffee is inconvenient, it does not automatically mean your presentation will fail. To challenge this distortion, ask yourself:

• Is this disaster really going to happen?
• What positives am I overlooking?

You might be well-prepared, and the audience likely understands that accidents happen. Remind yourself: the coffee spill does not define your presentation skills or knowledge. Do not let a small mishap overshadow your preparation and abilities.

4. Personalisation

Personalisation occurs when you take responsibility for things outside your control. For example:

• A friend cancels plans and you assume it is because you are boring.

This thinking pattern places blame squarely on yourself without considering other explanations.
To counteract it, distinguish between what is within your control and what is not. Ask yourself:

• Could something unrelated be affecting them? Maybe they are sick, busy, or dealing with their own issues. Before you assume blame, reach out and ask. A conversation can provide clarity and prevent unnecessary guilt or anxiety.

5. Mind Reading

Mind reading is when you assume you know what others are thinking—usually something negative about you—without any real evidence. For example:

• A colleague is distant, and you conclude, "She must be mad at me because I did not take on that project."

To stop mind reading, seek clarification. Even if you feel 100% certain, ask the other person directly:

• “I noticed a shift and wondered if something’s going on. Can we talk about it?”

Open communication clears up misunderstandings and prevents you from spiraling into anxiety based on assumptions.

6. Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning is when you believe that your feelings reflect objective truth. For example:

• “I feel anxious, so this presentation must be terrible.”

This distortion confuses feelings with facts. To challenge it, separate your emotions from reality. Remind yourself:

• “I feel anxious because this is important, not because I am bad at it.”

Emotions are valid but not always reliable indicators of truth. Instead of letting your anxiety dictate your beliefs, examine the evidence. Feeling nervous does not mean you are unprepared or incompetent.

7. Should Statements

Should statements involve rigid rules and unrealistic expectations about yourself or others. For example:

• “I should always be productive.”

When you are tired, distracted, or just not at your best, these “shoulds” make you feel guilty and stressed. The fix? Replace “should,” “must,” and “have to” with more compassionate, flexible language:

• “I want to be productive most days, but sometimes I am not, and that is okay.”

Removing “should” opens the door for self-acceptance. Life includes ups and downs. Accepting this helps you manage your energy and expectations with kindness.

Take-Home Message

Cognitive distortions are common, automatic patterns that often go unnoticed but significantly influence our anxiety. By learning to recognize and challenge them, you can reduce their power and create space for more balanced, helpful thoughts.

If this article helped you understand your anxiety a little better and gave you tools to reverse it before it becomes overwhelming, we are glad. If you are looking for further support to deal with anxiety or want help catching these self-sabotaging thoughts, our team at Antiloneliness.com is here for you. We have been supporting people through anxiety, depression, burnout, and relationship challenges for years. There is no waiting list, reach out today, and let us help you feel good, feel better, and feel balanced again. Take good care of yourself.