Setting Boundaries with Children - A Coach Explains
Boundaries: many parents struggle with this. You are not alone and you are completely normal! Learning how to set healthy boundaries with your children is not only beneficial for you, it teaches invaluable lessons to your child. This way, they will learn how to appropriately set boundaries and foster healthy, respectful and loving relationships with others.
The "Good Enough" Mother
The "Good Enough" mother is the one...
...who doesn't need to be perfect, who doesn't judge others for not being perfect and who teaches her child the beauty not being perfect and of being different among people. And therefore she takes a lot of (perfectionism) stress off her child's shoulder.
...who accepts the love that her child feels for her, but who also equally accepts all the other feelings that may come from the child, even anger or rejection.
...who admits that she has feelings of unconditional love for her child, but also acknowledges that there will be moments in everyday life when she will be experiencing more negative and overwhelming feelings. She is well aware that these uncomfortable, conflicting feelings cannot erase or even diminish her loving side.
Children understand everything they hear and see around them. Probably not in the way we adults perceive reality around us, but in their own unique way. And when they hear the news, the shocking, terrible news on the TV, they get the feeling that something bad is happening, or is going to happen (even if they don't understand the details of it). And they are scared. Terrified. And they don't feel safe anymore. Especially when they see their own parents feeling the same way, they feel helpless.
Children sometimes lack perspective of the world around them. They hear about something that happened in India while they live in Oslo, and they feel that this is happening ...next door. They cannot understand how big the world is or how far from them is what happened. They even think that if they move to another house, they will feel safe again. Listen and attend to their need: safety.
HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS.