Are you a pursuer or a withdrawer?

In your relationship, are you a pursuer or a withdrawer?

When fighting with your partner, do you prefer to:
A - Ask for explanations, blame, push, overanalyse, criticise or
B - Retreat, shut down, walk away, avoid or find distraction?


If A, you are probably a pursuer. And I say “probably” because there is another type of pursuer, I will explain later.
​If B, then you are probably a withdrawer.
A pursuer or a withdrawer is a role we (have learned to) take in a relationship when there is a conflict. The conflict may be of small or big importance. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the emotional importance the individual gives to the conflict.

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