ANTI-LONELINESS
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Services
    • Therapy & Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Online Counseling
    • Supervision
    • Internship
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
  • Academy
    • Academy for All
    • All Courses
    • From Conflict to Connection
    • How to stop Perfectionism
    • How much of a Perfectionist are you?
    • Burnout Recovery: from exhaustion to resilience
    • How to stop Procrastinating
    • Σεμιναριο για τις σχεσεις
    • Divorce Recovery Programme
    • Grief Recovery Programme
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • RESOURCES
    • Extra Resources
    • In the Media
    • BOOKS >
      • Books for everyone
      • Books for professionals
    • CARDS
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Services
    • Therapy & Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Online Counseling
    • Supervision
    • Internship
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
  • Academy
    • Academy for All
    • All Courses
    • From Conflict to Connection
    • How to stop Perfectionism
    • How much of a Perfectionist are you?
    • Burnout Recovery: from exhaustion to resilience
    • How to stop Procrastinating
    • Σεμιναριο για τις σχεσεις
    • Divorce Recovery Programme
    • Grief Recovery Programme
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • RESOURCES
    • Extra Resources
    • In the Media
    • BOOKS >
      • Books for everyone
      • Books for professionals
    • CARDS
  • Contact

Everything your kids want to say to you about your divorce

3/9/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Children often feel or are really helpless when their parents get divorced. This is a very emotional time for parents and children become part of the conflict, since each parent individually decides what is in the interest of the children according to their own beliefs.

Most of the parents continue to care for their children and maintain a civilized, if not friendly, relationship with the person with whom they are separated for the rest of their lives. For those who cannot keep that kind of relationship with their ex-spouse, it seems that children have much to say about it. In case that they tell you what they think, it is a good idea to listen carefully of some words of wisdom they have to offer. Here are some examples:

Children do not want:
... To see their parents arguing. It makes them feel bad about themselves.

... Talk to them about the divorce and adult issues; either way they will not understand them.

... To hear about financial issues, alimony, or custody. They feel less like children and more like material goods.

... To make them questions about what happens/happened at home with the other parent. They feel like they have to spy their parents instead of loving them. 

... Use them as messengers for anything you need to say from one parent to the other. This means they are the ones that have to deal with the reaction of the other parent, and that makes them feel scared and anxious.

... To feel bad for the love of the other parent. They want to feel protected by both parents, and not guilty.

... To feel bad when you are on the phone with their other parent. They feel pressured by both parents and will certainly do not want to choose between the two.

... To stop seeing their other parent. It is very stressful to be in the middle without choosing so. They want to be able to love you completely and without guilt.

... To hear one of their parents blaming each other for what went wrong with their lives. They are too young to be able to cope with all this, and this is very stressful for them.

... One of you to ignore the other, when you are in some sport or other event. Simply behave as adults and do not bring them in a difficult position.

... To be worried about what may or may not take with them when they go back and forth between your houses. They just want to be able to have their things whenever they wish.

 ... Having to answer questions that make them choose between you or the other parent, especially on where they want to live. They think that is unfair.

... Everything to be so rigid. They like much better when everyone is flexible and not cling to the life they had before and their past choices.

... Talk to them about everything. They would prefer if you could find a friend or a therapist to talk about what you are going through, instead of transferring your worries to them, since they cannot be of much help.

If you are in any stage of a divorce, maybe these ideas can help you when you interact with your children.

What's Next?

  • Sign up for my newsletter here and get the FREE 40-page guide/workbook on Self-Care filled with practical tips that can make your life more peaceful and balanced.  
  • Get your FREE Guide "How much of a Perfectionist are you?" and find out which of the features you own are highly related to your Perfectionism.
  • Visit AntiLoneliness Academy for more workshops and courses on Self-Growth and Relationships. 
  • ​Book recommendations on Mindfulness, Anxiety & Depression:
    • The Anxiety and Worry Workbook
    • Wherever you go, there you are 
    • Don't believe everything you feel
    • Practicing Mindfulness
    • Mindfulness workbook for teens
  • Watch our videos with Psychology tips and insights on Relationships, Perfectionism, Anxiety, Burnout, etc. 
  • Read more articles on Relationships, Self-Development, Loneliness, and Perfectionism here: Blog. ​
  • Don't let anxiety pull you down, contact me and start your own therapy journey in order to get you out of this negative circle. ​
  • Join our Facebook page and Instagram page and read more posts about self-development. ​
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Family

    HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS.

    Leaving your city or your country is indeed painful. Even for those that see opportunities within this new challenge. Making new friends, when you still miss your old ones. Building a new home, when you still have plenty of memories from your old one. Making a new family, when your own family is thousands of miles away. Feeling like home, when you have tried so many times to do so. Yes, we know how you feel. 

    Archives

    December 2022
    November 2022
    March 2021
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    December 2018
    May 2018
    March 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015

    Categories

    All
    Adult
    Afraid
    Anger
    Antiloneliness
    Anxiety
    Authentic
    Boundaries
    Burnout
    Child
    Childhood
    Children
    Compassion
    Decision Making
    Discipline
    Divorce
    Emotional
    Emotions
    Exhausted Parents
    Exhaustion
    Expecting
    Failure
    Family
    Fear
    Feelings
    Good Enough
    Guilt
    Learn Their Lesson
    Loneliness
    Marriage
    Mental Health
    Mother
    Motherhood
    Not Perfect
    Overwhelmed Parents
    Parent
    Parental Burnout
    Parenting
    Parenting Skills
    Parenting Style
    Perfection
    Perfectionism
    Perfectionist
    Plan
    Pregnancy
    Procrastination
    Punishment
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Sadness
    Safety
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self-criticism
    Shame
    Spanking
    Stigma
    Support Group For Mothers
    The Hague
    Trauma

    RSS Feed

Counseling

Personal Counseling
Couples Counseling
OnLine Counseling 
​
GROUP COUNSELING 

​Grief Support
Divorce Support 
​Therapy Group 

Blog

Loneliness
​Self-Development
Relationships
​Family 

About

Me
​My Team
Contact 
​The Cards
Privacy Policy ​
NIP Psycholoog
Vassia Sarantopoulou
Head Psychologist - Founder of AntiLoneliness

​Therapy for expats and locals 
Leiden - The Hague - online 
​

Member of the Netherlands Institute of Psychologists (NIP)

© COPYRIGHT 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.