In your relationship, are you a pursuer or a withdrawer? When fighting with your partner, do you prefer to:
A - Ask for explanations, blame, push, overanalyse, criticise or B - Retreat, shut down, walk away, avoid or find distraction? If A, you are probably a pursuer. And I say “probably” because there is another type of pursuer, I will explain later. If B, then you are probably a withdrawer. A pursuer or a withdrawer is a role we (have learned to) take in a relationship when there is a conflict. The conflict may be of small or big importance. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the emotional importance the individual gives to the conflict.
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The emotional rollercoaster of a divorce Everyone knows how horrible it is to lose a dear person and to have to figure out your life after this loss. However, I was surprised to read the other day about the impact of death and divorce in a person’s life and how close they were in terms of influence in our life. Although it seems that the loss of a loved person is one of the worst moments of someone’s life, research shows that divorce’s emotional impact resembles the size of a permanent loss.
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