ANTI-LONELINESS
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Services
    • Therapy & Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Online Counseling
    • Supervision
    • Internship
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
  • Academy
    • Academy for All
    • All Courses
    • From Conflict to Connection
    • How to stop Perfectionism
    • How much of a Perfectionist are you?
    • Burnout Recovery: from exhaustion to resilience
    • How to stop Procrastinating
    • Σεμιναριο για τις σχεσεις
    • Divorce Recovery Programme
    • Grief Recovery Programme
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • RESOURCES
    • Extra Resources
    • In the Media
    • BOOKS >
      • Books for everyone
      • Books for professionals
    • CARDS
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Services
    • Therapy & Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Online Counseling
    • Supervision
    • Internship
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
  • Academy
    • Academy for All
    • All Courses
    • From Conflict to Connection
    • How to stop Perfectionism
    • How much of a Perfectionist are you?
    • Burnout Recovery: from exhaustion to resilience
    • How to stop Procrastinating
    • Σεμιναριο για τις σχεσεις
    • Divorce Recovery Programme
    • Grief Recovery Programme
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • RESOURCES
    • Extra Resources
    • In the Media
    • BOOKS >
      • Books for everyone
      • Books for professionals
    • CARDS
  • Contact

Food and Emotions: the seven most difficult feelings for emotional eaters

2/3/2020

0 Comments

 

The seven most difficult feelings for emotional eaters

Picture
All theories of emotional eating share the assumption that before emotional eating occurs, we tend to experience a negative affect that we cannot properly regulate. This affect may prompt us to employ strategies that we have available but that are not necessarily adaptive in the long term. This is an important finding, since it suggests that the problem is not necessarily associated with negative emotions per se, but rather with the lack of adaptive coping strategies available to regulate our negative affect. 

This hypothesis is also confirmed by studies showing that a common feature between emotional eaters is the tendency to regularly avoid or minimize a specific set of emotions - specifically what we refer to as negative affects. Paradoxically, it was also shown that these exact feelings triggered emotional cravings. 

So, what are the most problematic effects for emotional eaters?

Guilt

Most of us who are emotional eaters tend to be oriented towards fulfilling other’s needs. Additionally we have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and despite these qualities, we  rarely believe that we are good enough. For many of us this equates to a constant state of guilt, as there is a sense that we can never get things right as much as we believe that we should. These incredibly high standards are setting us up for failure. Additionally, we often tend to be people-pleasers and feel inadequate and selfish when we do things for ourselves, therefore self-care is often on the bottom of our priority list.
​The "best" way in which we take care of ourselves is through food - you guessed that right. ​

Related:

What Is Guilt & Why It Can Be Good For You [ARTICLE]

Shame

As emotional eaters many of us are convinced that our eating behavior is shameful and that it is impossible to stop or change it. In many cases if we are coming from shame-inducing families, in an unconscious and paradoxical way we maintain what we believe we ought to feel or what we are used to feeling. If shame is a part of our emotional vocabulary we tend to maintain it through our own behavior, even though this is completely maladaptive and against us. ​

Hopelessness

The experience of hopelessness usually stems from the belief that there is nothing we can do to improve a certain situation. It underlies many feelings including frustration, impatience, anger and anxiety. The belief is not coincidental and many times it relates to early experiences of powerlessness when in crucial moments we did not have an adult to support us or to show us how to handle our fears. This often can lead us to the belief that - something bad is going to happen and there is nothing that we can do about it.
​As emotional eaters many of us fight our fears by taking action - managing our food intake gives a sense of control, and comfort foods my sooth us in a state of helplessness, at least in the short-term.

Stress

Many of us tend to reach for food in order to soothe our nerves in difficult moments. As those feelings arise, we tend to feel stressed, anxious and preoccupied with fears about what will happen in the future or what had gone wrong in the past. This makes it extremely hard to stay present in the moment and to shut off our should-could-would judgments. Thus concentrating on food or food control often provides a temporary relief from other worries but at the same time creates additional anxiety about food and weight. 

Disappointment

Chronic disappointment can lead us to believe that we don’t deserve to have positive expectations and outcomes in life. Wanting something better for ourselves thus causes us to feel needy and so we deny ourselves our most genuine desires. Because it’s too scary to have expectations of ourselves or of other people, we turn to something that is predictable and always in good supply—food. When we suffer a letdown or disappointment, food picks us up, at least for a while. As restrictive eaters we often deal with disappointment by actually raising our expectations of ourselves by obsessive calorie-counting and fixating on weight. In this way we communicate to ourselves, "Others might disappoint me, but I have high standards". 

Confusion

It is often overlooked as a troubling emotion because it’s considered one of the “small” feelings, not a powerful one like fear or shame. Nevertheless confusion is prevalent in a population of eaters who are out of touch with their physical needs and wants. If we are not sure whether we are really hungry or deserve to eat and if we are not certain if we are hungry or full, what we ought to look like, and what we should weigh, confusion runs deep within our emotional experiences. Most of our confusion is then about the concept of "enough" in numerous areas of their lives. What drives our confusion is the desperate urge to find out what is the right thing to do so that we protect ourselves from making mistakes. Because it’s difficult to tolerate the tension created by vague, mixed or conflicting feelings, we often give up and numb the feelings through indulgence or restriction. 

Loneliness

To feel chronically lonely can often be traced back to childhood fears of being abandoned, rejected, dismissed, ignored, unseen, and unheard. In our untutored young minds, when we were not  reflected in someone’s eyes, we felt disconnected, invisible, and as if we did not exist. When we feel this depth of loneliness, we become desperate to bond with something, anything—to merely feel alive. For some of us, eating reminds us of the comfort we crave. There is a strong association between nutrition and being held and fed, connected to someone, and to a strong reference to a time when we might have felt loved and valued. If we are overwhelmed with emptiness and loneliness, obsessing about food can be a relief. In other cases we can believe that controlling our food intake or weight can be a tool to convince ourselves how little we need.

Stop and ask yourself, how do you feel right now?
​

Related:

Lonely vs Alone: What is Loneliness & How To Overcome It [ARTICLE]

Take action

  • Sign up for my newsletter here and get the FREE 40-page guide/workbook on Self-Care filled with practical tips that can make your life more peaceful and balanced.  
  • Get your FREE Guide "How much of a Perfectionist are you?" and find out which of the features you own are highly related to your Perfectionism.
  • Visit AntiLoneliness Academy for more workshops and courses on Self-Growth and Relationships. 
  • ​Book recommendations on Mindfulness, Anxiety & Depression:
    • The Anxiety and Worry Workbook
    • Wherever you go, there you are 
    • Don't believe everything you feel
    • Practicing Mindfulness
    • Mindfulness workbook for teens
  • Watch our videos with Psychology tips and insights on Relationships, Perfectionism, Anxiety, Burnout, etc. 
  • Read more articles on Relationships, Self-Development, Loneliness, and Perfectionism here: Blog. ​
  • Don't let anxiety pull you down, contact me and start your own therapy journey in order to get you out of this negative circle. ​
  • Join our Facebook page and Instagram page and read more posts about self-development. 

Resources

  • Evers, C., Marijn Stok, F., & de Ridder, D. T. (2010). Feeding your feelings: Emotion regulation strategies and emotional eating. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(6), 792-804.
  • The Emotional Eating Workbook - A Proven-Effective, Step-by-Step Guide to End Your Battle with Food and Satisfy Your Soul, Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, MPH

Written by Rositsa Stoycheva, M.Sc.
Psychologist at AntiLoneliness ​
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Self-Development

    TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.


    Know Yourself. 
    YOU are responsible for how you feel. The others behave in the way they want, but they have nothing to do with the way you perceive their behavior and consequently how you feel. 
    It's merely your decision. 

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Achievement
    Addiction
    Alone
    Anger
    Angry
    Antiloneliness
    Anxiety
    Apps
    Attachment
    Autism
    Avoidance
    Balance
    Belonging
    Blocking-feelings
    Blocking-feelings
    Body
    Books
    Boundaries
    Brain
    Broken Heart
    Burnout
    Busy Women
    Calm
    Cbt
    Change
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Colouring-book
    Comfort-zone
    Comparisons
    Compassion
    Compassionate
    Confusion
    Connection
    Control
    Cope
    Coping-mechanism
    Coping Mechanisms
    Copping Strategies
    Coronavirus
    Counseling
    Critic
    Criticism
    Cycle Of Negative Thinking
    Cycle Of Negativity
    Decision
    Decision-making
    Decision-making
    Delaying
    Denial
    Depressed
    Depression
    Disappointment
    Discomfort
    Discomfrot
    Eating Disorders
    Emotional Awareness
    Emotional Eating
    Emotional Intelligence
    Emotional Needs
    Emotional Support Animal
    Emotional Triggers
    Emotions
    Empath
    Empathy
    Escape Negative Thinking
    Expat Life
    Express Anger
    Failure
    Family
    Fear
    Fear-of-failure
    Fears
    Feelings
    Focus
    Food
    Forest Therapy
    Freedom
    Gerascophobia
    Giving Up
    Goal
    Good Enough
    Grateful
    Grief
    Guilt
    Gutbrain-connection
    Gut-feeling
    Happiness
    Help
    Highly Sensitive Person
    High Standards
    Holidays
    Hope
    Hopelessness
    How-to-make-the-right-decision
    Hsp
    Imperfection
    Inner Critic
    Inner-critic
    Inner Peace
    Intuition
    Joy
    Judging
    Kindness
    Laziness
    Learned Helplessness
    Learning
    Life
    Loneliness
    Love
    Make The Perect Decision
    Meaning
    Meditation
    Mental Health
    Migraine
    Mindfullness
    Mindfulness
    Mistakes
    Motivation
    Narcissism
    Nature
    Negative Spiral
    Negative Thinking
    Negative Thinking Pattern
    Negative Thoughts
    New Year Resolution
    Not Alone
    Other People's Opinion
    Pain
    Pandemic
    Panic Attacks
    Parenting
    Parents
    Partner
    Perfectionism
    Perfectionist
    Physical Symptoms
    Postponing
    Present
    Procrastination
    Psychologist
    Psychology
    Psychosomatics
    Psychosomatic-symptoms
    PTSD
    Relationships
    Relief
    Rest
    Ruminating
    Sadness
    Safety
    Scared
    Schemas
    Self Awareness
    Self Care
    Self Compassion
    Self-compassion
    Self Confidence
    Self-doubt
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self Improvement
    Self-improvement
    Self Kindness
    Self-kindness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Self Sabotage
    Sensitive
    Service Dog
    Shame
    Shock
    Signs
    Sleep
    Smartphones
    Social Media
    Stress
    Struggle
    Struggling
    Suffer
    Suffering
    Support
    Suppressed Anger
    Suppression
    Technology
    Therapy
    Therapy Dog
    The Right Decision
    Thinking
    Threat
    Time-management
    Tips
    Toxic Shame
    Trauma
    Trauma Response
    Trigger
    Trust
    Uncertainty
    Values
    Vassia-sarantopoulou
    Vassia-sarantopoulou
    What-to-do
    Women
    Work
    Workaholism
    Work Life Balance
    Workload
    Workplace
    Workplan
    Workshop
    Worrying

    RSS Feed

Counseling

Personal Counseling
Couples Counseling
OnLine Counseling 
​
GROUP COUNSELING 

​Grief Support
Divorce Support 
​Therapy Group 

Blog

Loneliness
​Self-Development
Relationships
​Family 

About

Me
​My Team
Contact 
​The Cards
Privacy Policy ​
NIP Psycholoog
Vassia Sarantopoulou
Head Psychologist - Founder of AntiLoneliness

​Therapy for expats and locals 
Leiden - The Hague - online 
​

Member of the Netherlands Institute of Psychologists (NIP)

© COPYRIGHT 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.