How much of a Perfectionist are you?

• Does it take much of your time to make decisions?
• Are you the kind of person who is not easily satisfied with their performance/ results/ efforts? 
• Do you spend a lot of time in organising and making lists, before you even start a task or a project? 
• Do you tend to procrastinate when you are assigned with a challenging or even boring project?

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• Do you find yourself sometimes occupied with less important tasks while other more important ones are ...still pending?
• Do you prefer to avoid situations for fear of failure? 
• Is it important for you to deliver results with absolutely no mistakes or imperfections? 
• Do you like raising the standards of your performance, even if that means that you have already tried hard so far and now you will try even more? 
• Do you spend a lot of time "fixing" small details? 
• Do you postpone the reward of your successes and achievements for later, until a bigger success comes along your way? 
• Are you overly concerned about what other people (will) say about you? 

These are a few characteristics of a perfectionist and if you have answered "Yes" to most of them, then... Join the Club. 

To clarify this:

Perfectionism is not being perfect or delivering perfect results. 
Perfectionism is the stress that we are never enough, that we don't deserve reward or even a break, until we try even more. And more. And more.
It's the feeling that we are never good enough. 

How did it all start? 

Perfectionism is our response to uncertainty around us.
It's our attempt to control our environment and/or our future. Therefore, one possible origin of this behavior was in our childhood: overly critical parents, or unsafe environment, or big change(s) in the family. One way or another, we felt that by controlling small details and organising our life to perfection, would make us feel more safe and protected.
Another reason to become a perfectionism is to just copy it. Again, someone in the family taught us the importance of achievements and adjusting to the external rules and norms, and this is how we ended up seeing perfectionism as our anchor. 
Culture, thinking patterns, fears, can be some more possible reasons why we thought that perfectionism is a good way to cope with challenges. 

Why perfectionism is not useful anymore. 

Because it makes us lose focus and confuse the important with the unimportant. 
Because it makes our Inner Critic's voice so loud that we always judge ourselves. 
Because it makes us judge others, as well, and the toll we pay in our relationships is heavy. We are left alone. 
Because it makes us feel shame for who we are and for who we aren't. 
Because it's scientifically proven that it's highly related with Anxiety and Depression. 
Because it keeps us stuck in our comfort zone for too long, even though we would like to move forward, but we don't dare. 

We don't need Perfectionism anymore. 
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We need more of our imperfections.
We need to let go of control when it's not necessary. 
We need more calmness and peace with what we are and with who we choose to be. 
We are enough already and we are not negotiating our value, because that's painful and exhausting. 

"Good enough" is the new "perfect". 
 
Take action now. 

• Would you like to learn more about Perfectionism and how you can turn it from a stressful, never-ending battle to a healthy and balanced behavior? Join our workshop "The traps of Perfectionism, the gifts of Imperfection". 
  • Student tickets available. 
  • Discounted fees for attendands of other workshops 
• Read our blog article about Perfectionism in the Family here. 
• Send us your story of Perfectionism at info@antiloneliness.com and win a voucher of 20% discount for one of our workshops. 
• Don't let anxiety pull you down, contact me and book a counseling session in order to get you out of this negative circle. 
• Join our Facebook page and read more posts about self-development. 
• Looking for a Motivation Masterclass? You only need 6 weeks to defeat Perfectionism and Anxiety, to create New Habits and start moving towards your Goals with more Confidence and Motivation. Register now at the End Procrastination, Welcome Success workgroup.