How much of a Perfectionist are you?
These are a few characteristics of a perfectionist and if you have answered "yes" to most of them, then... Join the Club!
To clarify, perfectionism is not being perfect or delivering perfect results.
Perfectionism is the stress that we are never enough, that we don't deserve rewards or even a break until we try more. And more. And more.
It's the feeling that we are never good enough.
How did it all start
Perfectionism is our response to uncertainty around us. It's our attempt to control our environment and / or our future. Therefore, one possible origin of this behaviour may be found in our childhood: overly critical parents, an unstable environment or big change(s) in the family. One way or another, we felt that by controlling small details and organising our lives to perfection, we would feel safer and more protected.
Moreover, we might have copied this behaviour from someone else. Again, someone in the family taught us the importance of achieving and adjusting to the external rules and norms, and this is how we ended up seeing perfectionism as our anchor.
Culture, thinking patterns, fears, all are possible reasons why we thought that perfectionism was a good way to cope with challenges.
Why perfectionism is not useful
Perfectionism is not useful, because:
We are enough already, and we are not negotiating our value, because that's painful and exhausting.
Say it with me: "Good enough" is the new "perfect"!
Stay tuned because there is another article coming up with tips on how to defeat the unhelpful and dysfunctional side of perfectionism and keep only the helpful one!
Are you a perfectionist as well? How do you cope with your perfectionism? Let us know in the comments!
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