ANTI-LONELINESS
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Counseling
    • Personal Counseling & Therapy
    • Couples Counseling
    • OnLine Counseling
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
      • Therapy Group
      • Relationship Detox Group
      • Inner Peace Support Group
      • Emotional Eating Support Group
      • Student Support Group
      • Registration
  • Workshops
    • On Self-Development
    • On Relationships
    • On Parenting Challenges
    • Registration
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • BOOKS
    • Books for everyone
    • Books for professionals
    • Book Club
  • CARDS
  • Contact
  • Academy

How much of a Perfectionist are you?

26/10/2018

0 Comments

 

How much of a Perfectionist are you?

Perfectionism
  • Does it take you a long time to make a decision?
  • Are you the kind of person who is not easily satisfied with their performance/results/ efforts?
  • Do you spend a lot of time organising and making lists before you even start a task or a project?
  • Do you tend to procrastinate when you are assigned a challenging or even boring project?
  • Do you sometimes find yourself occupied with less important tasks while other more important ones are ...still pending?

  • Do you find imperfections in other people that annoy you, especially in friends and partners, and do you start losing interest in them because of these imperfections?
  • Do you prefer to avoid situations for fear of failure?
  • Is it important for you to deliver results with absolutely no mistakes or imperfections?
  • Do you like raising the standards of your performance, even if that means that you have already tried hard so far?
  • Do you take a compliment or a praise with hesitation, or you reward yourself very rarely? 
  • Do you spend a lot of time "fixing" small details?
  • Do you postpone the reward of your successes and achievements for later, until a bigger success comes your way?
  • Are you overly concerned about what other people (might) say about you?

These are a few characteristics of a perfectionist and if you have answered "yes" to most of them, then... Join the Club!

To clarify, perfectionism is not being perfect or delivering perfect results.
Perfectionism is the stress that we are never enough, that we don't deserve rewards or even a break until we try more. And more. And more.
It's the feeling that we are never good enough.

How did it all start

Perfectionism is our response to uncertainty around us. It's our attempt to control our environment and / or our future. Therefore, one possible origin of this behaviour may be found in our childhood: overly critical parents, an unstable environment or big change(s) in the family. One way or another, we felt that by controlling small details and organising our lives to perfection, we would feel safer and more protected.
Moreover, we might have copied this behaviour from someone else. Again, someone in the family taught us the importance of achieving and adjusting to the external rules and norms, and this is how we ended up seeing perfectionism as our anchor.
Culture, thinking patterns, fears, all are possible reasons why we thought that perfectionism was a good way to cope with challenges.

Why perfectionism is not useful

Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not useful, because:
  • It makes us lose focus and confuse the important with the unimportant.
  • It makes our Inner Critic's voice so loud that we always judge ourselves.
  • It makes us judge others as well, and the toll it takes on our relationships is heavy. We are left alone.
  • It makes us feel shame for who we are and for who we aren't.
  • It's scientifically proven that it's highly related to anxiety and depression.
  • It keeps us stuck in our comfort zone for too long, even if we would like to move forward, we don't dare.
What we need is:
  • More imperfections.
  • To let go of control when it's not necessary.
  • More calmness in our lives and being at peace with who we are and with whom we choose to be.

Good enough

We are enough already, and we are not negotiating our value, because that's painful and exhausting.
Say it with me:  "Good enough" is the new "perfect"!

Stay tuned because there is another article coming up with tips on how to defeat the unhelpful and dysfunctional side of perfectionism and keep only the helpful one!
​

Are you a perfectionist as well? How do you cope with your perfectionism? Let us know in the comments!

Take action now

  • Would you like to learn more about Perfectionism and how you can turn it from a stressful, never-ending battle to a healthy and balanced behavior? Join our workshop on Mental Fitness and Burnout Resilience:    https://academy.antiloneliness.com/burnout-resilience
  • ​Get the book The Gift of Imperfection, by Brene Brown, one of the most helpful books for leaving the toxic perfection behind us. 
  • FREE posts on Perfectionism through AntiLoneliness Academy.
  • Read our blog article about Perfectionism in the Family here. 
  • Send us your story of Perfectionism at info@antiloneliness.com and win a voucher of 20% discount for one of our workshops. 
  • Take a look at more videos on Perfectionism and Burnout at my YouTube channel
  • Don't let anxiety pull you down, contact me and book a counseling session in order to get you out of this negative circle. 
  • Join our Facebook page and Instagram page and read more posts about self-development. ​
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Self-Development

    TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.


    Know Yourself. 
    YOU are responsible for how you feel. The others behave in the way they want, but they have nothing to do with the way you perceive their behavior and consequently how you feel. 
    It's merely your decision. 

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Achievement
    Addiction
    Alone
    Anger
    Angry
    Antiloneliness
    Anxiety
    Apps
    Attachment
    Autism
    Avoidance
    Balance
    Belonging
    Blocking Feelings
    Books
    Burnout
    Calm
    Cbt
    Change
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Colouring Book
    Comfort Zone
    Comparisons
    Compassion
    Compassionate
    Confusion
    Connection
    Control
    Copping Strategies
    Coronavirus
    Counseling
    Critic
    Decision
    Decision Making
    Decision-making
    Denial
    Depression
    Disappointment
    Discomfort
    Discomfrot
    Eating Disorders
    Emotional Awareness
    Emotional Eating
    Emotional Intelligence
    Emotional Needs
    Emotions
    Empathy
    Expat Life
    Failure
    Family
    Fear
    Fears
    Feelings
    Focus
    Food
    Freedom
    Goal
    Good Enough
    Grief
    Guilt
    Happiness
    High Standards
    Holidays
    Hope
    Hopelessness
    Imperfection
    Inner Critic
    Inner Peace
    Joy
    Kindness
    Life
    Loneliness
    Love
    Meaning
    Meditation
    Mental Health
    Migraine
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    Negative Thinking
    Negative Thoughts
    New Year Resolution
    Not Alone
    Other People's Opinion
    Pain
    Pandemic
    Panic Attacks
    Parenting
    Parents
    Partner
    Perfectionism
    Perfectionist
    Procrastination
    Psychologist
    Psychology
    Psychosomatics
    Psychosomatic Symptoms
    Relationships
    Relief
    Rest
    Sadness
    Safety
    Scared
    Self Awareness
    Self-compassion
    Self Confidence
    Shock
    Sleep
    Smartphones
    Social Media
    Stress
    Struggling
    Suffer
    Suffering
    Support
    Suppression
    Technology
    Therapy
    Thinking
    Threat
    Trauma
    Trust
    Uncertainty
    Values
    Vassia Sarantopoulou
    What To Do
    Work Life Balance
    Workshop

    RSS Feed

Counseling

Personal Counseling
Couples Counseling
OnLine Counseling 
​
GROUP COUNSELING 

​Grief Support
Divorce Support 
​Therapy Group 

Workshops

On Parenting  
On Relationships
On Self-Development
​
On The Cards

Blog

Loneliness
​Self-Development
Relationships
​Family 

About

Me
​My Team
​The Project 
Contact 
​The Cards
Loneliness
Privacy Policy ​
NIP Psycholoog
Vassia Sarantopoulou
Head Psychologist - Founder of AntiLoneliness

​Therapy for expats and locals 
Leiden - The Hague - Utrecht - Rotterdam - online 
​

Member of the Netherlands Institute of Psychologists (NIP)

© COPYRIGHT 2017. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
  • Home
  • About
    • Me
    • Loneliness
    • The Project
    • My Team
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Counseling
    • Personal Counseling & Therapy
    • Couples Counseling
    • OnLine Counseling
    • Support Groups >
      • Divorce Support Group
      • Grief Support Group
      • Therapy Group
      • Relationship Detox Group
      • Inner Peace Support Group
      • Emotional Eating Support Group
      • Student Support Group
      • Registration
  • Workshops
    • On Self-Development
    • On Relationships
    • On Parenting Challenges
    • Registration
  • Blog
    • Loneliness
    • Self-Development
    • Relationships
    • Family
  • BOOKS
    • Books for everyone
    • Books for professionals
    • Book Club
  • CARDS
  • Contact
  • Academy