How To Choose the Right Therapist: 6 Signs of Good Therapists

How To Choose the Right Therapist: 6 Signs of Good Therapists

Are you considering therapy but don't know where to start? Perhaps you have had therapy in the past, but you are looking for a better fit this time around. Choosing the right therapist can be a daunting task, but it is important to find someone who can support you on your journey towards mental wellness. In this article, we will discuss the steps you can take to find the right therapist for you and what to look for in a good therapist. So, whether you are a first-timer or a seasoned therapy-goer, read on to learn how to make the most out of your therapy experience.

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Finding the Right Therapist for You

Finding a therapist that suits your needs and personality is not always an easy task. It can take time and effort to find someone who you feel comfortable opening up to and who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. However, the benefits of finding a good therapist are immeasurable. A therapist can help you navigate life's challenges, manage your mental health, and improve your overall well-being. In this article, we will explore some tips on how to choose and find a therapist that is right for you, as well as some signs that can indicate that you have found a good therapist.

How to Choose the Right Therapist

When it comes to finding the right therapist, the process can be daunting and overwhelming. It can be difficult to know where to start and what to look for. In this section, we will discuss the steps you can take to find the therapist that is best suited for you and your needs.

1. List your needs

To start your search for a therapist, the first step is to go online and use a search engine like Google to find what you are looking for. Focus on the specific symptoms you want to address and the changes you want to make in your life. You can make a list of the issues that you want to work on and use this list in your search. Use these keywords to find potential therapists in your area or online. It is important to understand why you are seeking therapy and what you hope to gain from it. During your first session, your therapist will ask you what you want to focus on and work towards. Whether it is one issue or multiple, it is important to prioritize what is most important to you and start from there.

2. Think of your preferences

When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider your preferences. For example, think of whether you have a preference for a male or female therapist. It is also worth asking yourself why this preference exists, as sometimes we may feel triggered or uncomfortable with one gender due to past traumatic experiences and you might feel more comfortable discussing certain issues with a therapist of a specific gender. For example, if you have a history of trauma with men, you may feel more comfortable with a female psychologist. However, sometimes it is beneficial to also ask yourself whether it would be a good idea to face your fears and choose a therapist from the gender that you do not feel very comfortable with. It can be the first step towards healing. Whatever you choose, it is important to communicate any discomfort or triggers you may have with your therapist so that you can work through them together. It must be noted that not everyone will have a preference, and that is okay too. This is simply another factor to consider when selecting a therapist.

3. Consider the approach

Another important factor to consider when choosing a therapist is whether you have a preference for a specific therapeutic approach. For instance, if you have tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) before and found it ineffective, you may want to explore other options, such as Schema Therapy or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

If you are an intellectual person who tends to rationalize and analyze things, you may benefit from a therapist who has a more emotional and integrative approach, like EFT. Additionally, if you are seeking help to address past traumas, it is crucial to choose a therapist who has experience and training in trauma healing and processing techniques (e.g., EMDR). It is important to keep in mind what you want to treat and what your main request is, as it will guide you in finding a therapist who is best suited to meet your needs.

4. Ask around

It is also a good idea to ask your friends if they have experience with therapy and if they can recommend a therapist to you. When they give you a name, do not just take it and leave it at that - ask them why they chose that particular therapist and what it was about them that helped them move forward in their life. Sometimes people might recommend a therapist because they were cheap or convenient, so it is important to dig deeper and find out what qualities the therapist had that made them effective. For example, your friend might say that the therapist was kind, compassionate, and had a good rapport with them, which might be qualities that are important to you as well. It is also possible that what was important to your friend may not be important to you, so it is a good idea to ask questions and find out if the therapist they recommend is a good fit for you. By asking these questions and getting recommendations from people you trust, you can narrow down your options and find a therapist who is more likely to meet your needs.

5. Listen to yourself but be patient

When you have found a therapist, it is important to remember that building a meaningful therapeutic relationship takes time. Do not expect to feel an instant connection with your therapist in the first meeting. It may take a few sessions to see if there is potential to create that deep connection that will be the fertile ground for growth in your life.

Do not be discouraged if you do not feel that connection right away. Give it a chance and attend a few sessions to see if you can start to create that connection. If you feel like your therapist does not understand you or is driving the sessions in a different direction, do not be too quick to give up. It can be difficult to communicate what you want in the early stages, so try bringing up what you need in a respectful and open way. The therapist is there to help you; so, naturally, they will hear you out and try to accommodate to your needs. Do not be afraid to speak up and share your concerns!
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If you try to communicate your needs and things do not change, it could be a sign that there is not enough connection between you and your therapist. At that point, it may be time to move on and try someone else. Remember, finding the right therapist is a process, and it is not about finding the "best" therapist but rather someone with whom you can create a meaningful relationship. So, take your time, be patient, and trust your instincts.

6 Signs of Good Therapists

When you have found a therapist, it is common to wonder whether this is the right therapist for you. You may have already attended a few sessions, and although building a rapport takes time, you want to ensure that you are getting the most out of therapy. The good news is that there are some signs to identify whether you have a good therapist. In this section, we will discuss some key indicators of a skilled and supportive therapist. By paying attention to these signs, you can better evaluate your therapy experience and make informed decisions about your mental health journey.

1. They provide structure & a sense of safety

One of the first signs of a good therapist is their ability to provide clarity and structure in how they describe their work. This is especially important because as clients, we need to feel safe and supported. A good therapist should provide you with some structure and a sense of safety. For instance, they may explain their plan for the next few sessions and how they will help you work on your issues. They might present you with a mind map or diagram to help you visualize the process. When a therapist outlines a clear plan of action, it can bring a sense of relief and comfort that someone is there to hold us and guide us through our struggles. So, if your therapist is able to provide you with a sense of safety and structure, it is a good sign that they are invested in your well-being.

2. They are kind, accepting, and compassionate

The second sign to look for in a good therapist is their acceptance, kindness, and compassion towards you. You do not want a therapist who judges you or makes you feel ashamed after a session. A good therapist will acknowledge your uncomfortable feelings and help you understand that it is a part of being human. For example, if they point out something that you are struggling with, they will explain that they are doing it not to judge you but to help you become healthier and find balance.

A good therapist will also avoid being dismissive towards your struggles. They won't brush off your concerns with comments like "everyone goes through that." Instead, they will listen to you and show compassion towards your experiences. It is important to feel like your therapist is on your side and genuinely cares about your well-being.

3. They respect you and your time

Another indication of a good therapist is their respect for your time. This includes starting the sessions on time and not rushing through them. A good therapist will not schedule sessions back-to-back, causing delays and leading to prolonged wait times. Moreover, they will end the session on time, without unnecessarily prolonging it beyond its designated timeframe. However, if there is a critical point to address, they may ask for an extra 15 minutes to wrap things up, and they will make this decision together with you.

Forgetting sessions or previous discussions is also a red flag. While it is understandable that we all make mistakes, if it happens regularly, it might suggest that the therapist is not taking notes or not paying enough attention during the sessions. Additionally, if there is no follow-up on topics discussed in previous sessions, it can lead to a lack of consistency and flow, causing you to feel overwhelmed and anxious. If you notice these signs, it may be a sign that the therapist is not the right match for you, and it is okay to seek out someone else who can better meet your needs.

4. You feel a genuine connection

Another indication that you have found a good therapist is if they are not just going through the motions and following a robotic script, but instead are actively working with you on a deeper level. This might involve connecting emotionally and having a more warm and supportive relationship. They are not just giving you theoretical concepts, but are working with you to apply those concepts to your life.
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Additionally, a good therapist is not afraid to discuss uncomfortable topics with you, such as your feelings or emotions, even if it might be difficult or uncomfortable for you to talk about. For example, if you are struggling to express your emotions, a good therapist will not enable that avoidance, but will instead address it head-on and work with you to overcome it. They will facilitate emotional expression and comfort, rather than avoiding it or brushing it aside.

5. They respect boundaries

A good therapist is someone who respects the boundaries between their personal life and your personal life. While a therapist may disclose some aspects of their life, it is important to remember that therapy is not a conversation between friends where personal anecdotes are exchanged. A therapist should create a warm relationship with you, but also ensure that you are not burdened by any additional stress or issues from their own life. It is crucial for the therapist to maintain a focus on your needs so that you feel heard and supported without carrying any extra baggage.

​For example, if a therapist shares something personal, it is important for the client to still feel that the focus is on them and that they are not carrying any emotional baggage from their therapist's life. By respecting boundaries, the therapist can ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional and focused on the client's needs.

6. They have their own therapist or supervisor

Finally, it is worth noting that therapists themselves need to have their own therapists and supervisors. This is essential because as professionals, we need to keep our own personal struggles from affecting our therapy sessions with clients. We need to maintain balance and ensure that our therapeutic qualities and strategies are on point. Even though you may not know if your therapist has a therapist or a supervisor, they may tell you that they bring things up in their supervision without disclosing any personal information. This is a good thing, as it indicates that they are a professional who wants to ensure they are providing quality work. So, having a supervisor is not a sign of being a beginner, but rather a sign of being a professional who is committed to providing the best possible care for their clients.

Final Message

I hope this guide has given you a good understanding of how to choose the right therapist for you. It is important to remember that therapy is a human-to-human experience and not an interview. Instead of going in with a checklist, focus on building a connection with your therapist and see if there is understanding and rapport between you. Remember, sometimes therapy does not work because we haven't found a good match, but that's okay. Keep trying until you find the right therapist who can help you reach your goals and become the person you want to be. If you have any questions or want to share your experience, feel free to leave a comment. Thank you for reading and take care of yourself.

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