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How To Set Goals and New Year's Resolutions Effectively

24/2/2023

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How To Set Goals and New Year's Resolutions Effectively

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As the year draws to a close, many of us feel a surge of motivation to set new goals and achieve what we couldn't in the previous year. But why does this phenomenon occur so strongly at the end of the year? Perhaps it is because the end of the year represents the completion of a cycle, signaling a fresh start and a new opportunity to achieve our aspirations.
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Although this may seem like an illusion, it can be a powerful force if we channel it correctly. In this article, we will discuss how to avoid common mistakes and pitfalls when setting goals and resolutions. We will also explore how to turn this external motivation into tangible, achievable goals, allowing you to make real progress towards the things you want to accomplish.

Why Resolutions Fail? 4 Common Pitfalls and Mistakes

Setting goals is an important part of personal development and growth, especially at the start of a new year. However, it is all too common for people to lose motivation and give up on their goals within the first few months. In this section, we will explore some of the most common mistakes and pitfalls people fall into when setting goals or New Year's resolutions.

1. Not specific enough

One common reason why resolutions fail is that the goal lacks specificity. For instance, setting a goal to "be happy" is too vague and general. Without clarity on how, with whom, and in what specific ways you intend to achieve happiness, it is difficult to make progress towards the goal. In short, the lack of specificity makes it hard to determine whether or not the goal has been met. 

2. Not realistic enough

Another common pitfall is not being realistic. For example, take that you set the goal of: "I want to lose ten pounds in two days." You might have noticed that such a goal might be very radical and nearly impossible to achieve; and, indeed, probably no one can achieve such a goal. So, please keep in mind that your goals must be realistic and achievable. 

3. Not measurable

Additionally, if a goal lacks measurability, it can be challenging to track progress towards achieving it. For instance, if the goal is to be happy, how can we measure happiness? What does happiness mean to you personally, and how can you determine whether or not you have achieved it? Happiness may have a different definition for different individuals, making it difficult to measure progress towards achieving the goal. Therefore, it is crucial to establish clear and measurable indicators of success when setting goals.

4. Not connected to your WHY

One of the most critical reasons why goals fail is the lack of connection with our "why." Understanding the importance of a goal to our lives is crucial for its success. Before setting any goal, we must identify why it is significant to us. For instance, why is losing ten pounds essential to you? Why do you want to make more money? Without a clear understanding of the purpose behind a goal, it will ultimately fail. Without a "home," a goal will lack direction and focus, making it easy to abandon when things become difficult. When you face challenges on your way to achieving your goal, your brain might tell you that you are not the type of person to stress over such things, and you should quit. But if you have a strong "why," you can overcome such challenges.
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Knowing your "why" means connecting your goals with your values. For instance, if you value health and fitness, losing ten pounds is more than just shedding weight. It is about being healthy, confident, and capable of doing things you enjoy. Understanding this connection between your goals and values will help you stay committed even when the journey becomes challenging. Every day, you can reflect on what you have done to align with your values and pursue your goals. When your goals align with your "why," success is inevitable.

What Happens When Goals Fail?

When our goals or new year resolutions fail, we often experience feelings of guilt and self-blame, leading to a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence. Comparing ourselves to others who have achieved their goals only exacerbates this negative self-talk. For example, if you wanted to lose weight but failed, you might compare your journey to that of others who have been more successful. This only serves to increase your feelings of anxiety, sadness, and might lead you to lose the motivation to keep going. This loss of motivation and sense of self-worth can lead to self-sabotage, making it difficult to even consider setting new goals in the future. Ultimately, this can result in feeling stuck, frozen, and unable to move forward due to fear and guilt.

However, by mastering the art of setting goals effectively, we can avoid the discouraging cycle of failure and set ourselves up for success. Equipping ourselves with essential goal-setting skills and techniques can significantly boost our chances of achieving what we desire.

How To Set Goals and Resolutions: 3 Tips

Let's dive into the topic of setting goals and resolutions effectively. The key to achieving our desired outcomes lies in the way we set our goals. Fortunately, there are simple steps we can take to increase our chances of success. By answering three crucial questions when setting our goals, we can set ourselves up for a fulfilling and accomplished year. So, what are these questions?

1. Why is this goal important to how I want to live my life?

The first step to set achievable goals is to ask yourself a simple question: Why is this goal important to how I want to live my life? In other words, what are my core values? For example, if you decide to volunteer, it may be because you believe in community, kindness, and caring for others. These values are what drive your desire to be a certain type of person, and ultimately give you the motivation to achieve your goals. So, when setting your goals, the first question you should ask yourself is why it is important for you to achieve them in relation to the life you want to live and the person you want to be.

2. If I achieve this goal, how would I feel?

When it comes to setting achievable goals, the second question that you should ask yourself is all about emotions. Specifically, you need to consider how achieving your goal will make you feel. For example, let's say you want to make more money. Ask yourself: How will it make you feel to have more money? Will you feel more secure? More independent? More capable of taking care of yourself and your loved ones? And why is it important for the life that you want to live? Understanding your emotional motivations and the impact your goal will have on your overall well-being is crucial to staying motivated and making progress towards your goal. So take the time to reflect on how achieving your goal will make you feel, and why it is important to you personally. This will help you stay focused and committed, even when obstacles and challenges arise.

3. What will achieving this goal bring to my life?

The third question to ask yourself when setting achievable goals is crucial, as it can provide powerful motivation for your actions. Consider the example of someone who wants to make more money. Instead of simply stating this as a goal, think about what making more money will bring to your life. Will it provide a sense of connection with others? Will it allow you to meet the people you admire or respect? By understanding the deeper reasons behind your goals, you can tap into a more powerful motivation that will help you stay committed and focused on achieving your objectives.

Similarly, when setting a goal to "go out more," it's important to consider what this really means to you. Is it about building relationships or finding a partner? Is it about expanding your horizons or living a more adventurous life? By understanding the underlying motivation behind your goal, you can create a more specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely (SMART) objective that aligns with your values and desired way of life.

Final Message

So, before you commit to any goals or take any action, take the time to ask yourself: What is the person I want to be, and how will this goal help me become that person? How will achieving this goal make me feel? And, most importantly, what will it bring to my life? By finding your why and understanding the deeper reasons behind your goals, you can create a strong sense of motivation and purpose that will help you achieve any dream you want. Remember as well to focus on setting goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. By breaking down our larger aspirations into smaller, achievable steps, we can create a roadmap to success and prevent overwhelm. 

If you are struggling to find your why or to set your objectives overall, do not hesitate to reach out and ask for help. Remember, we are all in this together, you are not alone; and with a little support and guidance, you can create a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Take care.

What's Next

  • Join AntiLoneliness Academy, and find the tools to better face your current challenges.
  • If perfectionism is getting in the way of having a fulfilling life, get the FREE guide "How Much of a Perfectionist Are You?" and find out which perfectionist tendencies you struggle with.
  • Sign up for my newsletter here and get the FREE 40-page guide/workbook on Self-Care filled with practical tips that can make your life more peaceful and balanced.  
  • For Book recommendations:
    • The Body Keeps The Score​
    • The Lonely City
    • Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers
    • When Things Fall Apart
  • Watch our videos with Psychology tips and insights on Burnout, Relationships, Perfectionism, Anxiety, etc. ​
  • Don't let your situation pull you down, contact me and start your own therapy journey.
  • Join our Facebook page and Instagram page and read more posts about self-development.
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